My dad is dying

My father has Alzheimer's disease. The man who taught me nearly everything I know, is slipping away from this earthly realm. Though I treasure the fleeting moments of lucidity that he occasionally experiences, I can't seem to hold on to them for very long anymore. Mostly there is an avalanche of gloomy reality that quickly overwhelms the joy I find in our daily visits. I have had very little experience with terminal disease, but this one seems to invoke a particularly evil cruelty, not to the patient himself, but to his friends and family. I'm completely alone in this as my sisters and mother actually blame me for my fathers condition and have thus excluded me from familial participation. My wife is an incredible encourager and prayer warrior but doesn't know my dad at all (at least pre-illness). Since my mom hates (her words) my wife, it makes it emotionally and physically rather difficult for her to be around my dad. Two people I dearly love, whom, because of someone else's hate can't be near one another. Suddenly things like the holocaust become perfectly logical. So I am left all on my own mourning the loss of my father. Today as I was leaving my dad's room, he looked to make sure my mom wasn't coming around the corner and said "tell Jamie hi for me". As soon as I got back to my office I eagerly phoned my wife relaying those words to her. Her reaction, indifference. Initially hurt, I interpreted her indifference as lack of understanding or care, but upon further consideration, I know that she understands completely and cares emphatically but she too is overwhelmed.

Jamie gave me this book: Partial View Check out the introduction and the gallery. It's intense.